Parenting Tip

Here's my latest 'WHAT NOT TO DO' Parenting Tip:

My toddlers (G & D) are in what I call the "Patio Stage". If a public place does not have a patio, we do not go. They are a bundle of energy and truly prefer disobedience over obedience in almost all circumstances. Unfortunately, I decided to break the Patio Stage rule and we were seated inside at a Mexican restaurant last week. We were patiently waiting for the waitstaff to approach the table...

Yeah. I'd appreciate the prayer.

Distraction Technique: Use Cell Phone as Decoy.

It worked. D played with my cell phone for an eternity in toddler time… approximately THREE MINUTES and TWENTY EIGHT SECONDS.

And then D promptly chucked the cell phone across the restaurant and reverted back to pulling his sister's hair, hanging precariously over the side of his chair and throwing little packets of sugar at me rapid fire (think one and a half year old with a machine gun full of sugar packets). It was obviously my fault since I was not smart enough to completely remove the sugar packets from the table. How silly of me to think that he would not be able to reach them from three feet across the table.

Now, I am all about being consistent: consistently screaming, "NO! Stop! Get down! NOW! I MEAN IT!" And then I started an audible countdown to bed time.

Here's the tip: DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILD A CELL PHONE AS A DISTRACTION. E-ver.
Yeah, cause in the middle of all that great parenting, D called the owner of my local, independently owned, fabulous scrapbook store. Called her at the store. Seriously. She and her customers got to hear me in my finest moment.

I'm thinking there won't be any offers for part-time employment any time soon. Just a hunch.