Absurd

Warning labels on products we purchase or use are supposed to be helpful. Sometimes you read a warning label that makes you wonder if the genius in the marketing dept was worth his or her wages...

Product Warnings:

• "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.
• "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
• "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
• "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
• "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility.
• "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
• "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
• "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
• "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
• "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
• "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
  "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
• "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
• "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
• "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
• "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
• "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
• "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.