Fourth

Some days I really feel like I have failed my son, our fourth child.

He was born just 14-months after his very, very spirited, high-maintenance sister, G. G was needy of my attention from the get-go. I mean, this is just a little thing, but a perfect example of how dramatic little girls can be from a wee young age. When my D-boy was just a few months old my 14-month old petite little thing stubbornly exclaimed “I do it myself!” so, as my newborn son tried desperately to get both attention and basic needs from his mother, I was hoisting G's little heiney up onto the toilet 47 times a day, or watching her try on her eighteenth outfit for the day and exclaiming it, too, did not match.

Ms. G (or Princess Booger, as we call her when she's on a roll) was never content to play on her own; and D always was. Princess Booger needed constant feedback; and my big man never did. Princess Booger wanted, nay needed, to do x,y, and z; and my guy was just content to go with her flow. An easy baby. A baby I thanked my lucky stars for. He napped (G never did); he liked the car seat (G never did); he liked the stroller (G never did). EASY. Requiring very little effort.

Now, as I look at the awesomely head-strong toddler he is becoming, I wonder if I did him a disservice by just assuming he was going with the flow and enjoying it...

I am so very glad that I have four lovely, healthy, intelligent children, but I wonder -- is there enough of me to be able to give them everything they need emotionally? Am I short changing them?!

Please, God, give me the knowledge and wisdom to meet my children's needs emotionally and spiritually.