Parenthood

In my journey through parenthood (our eldest is almost ten years old -- double digits!!!), I have learned a ton, grown more than I thought possible and I may have even impressed myself by making a good choice or two along the way.

When I think of the fears and doubts that plagued me when I was pregnant -- midnight feedings, blow out diapers, ear infections, lack of sleep, choosing the perfect pediatrician, I chortle out loud. I remember thinking how daunting the thought of changing poopy diapers was before the wee ones arrived. If I had only known then that diapers, even awful-stenchy-blow outs, would be the EASY part!

Parenting is a perpetual, never-ending, job -- from worrying to loving, scolding to laughing, frustration to exhaustion. Being a mother is an amazing, rewarding, and challenging blessing of epic-ness. I love my little three girls and boy. I love ALL of the new experiences motherhood has brought into my life. Well, most of them...

Yet, I still feel incredibly overwhelmed a lot of the time. Some days it’s just a small, nagging thought in the back of my head. Other days, I feel like I’m trying to drink from the fire hydrant. (Too bad hydrants aren’t stocked with a lovely alcohol beverage.)

Do we as parents, especially mothers, ever just sit back and feel like we have all of our bases covered? Is there ever a time when we aren’t frantically running through endless checklists in our head? I’m not talking about feeling like our job is ‘finished,’ but whether or not we ever have the ability to take a deep breath, without feeling guilty for taking that split second for ourselves.

Lately I’ve been wondering . . . is it ever enough?!

Forget diapers, feedings, teething, naps, potty training, discipline through tantrums. That, too, is the easy part.

I still feel like I could/should be doing more. Shouldn’t I learn to sew and make cute dresses for their first days of school? Should I be making more of an effort to stay at home with them full-time? (I only work outside the home three days a week.) Would the wee ones get more/better/happier attention if they had me one-on-one all day long?

Ugh! The questions. The thoughts. So many things run through my mind all day long, every single day. Maybe this is a universal thing for moms to go through and I assume that someday soon, I’ll know peace of mind again. (If 18 years from now is considered soon???)

Maybe you’re not all as neurotic as me. Maybe you all have everything figured out. If you do, could you email me? Please? Immediately! Or, perhaps, five minutes ago?