Rusty Sneaky Skills

When you share a bed with the same person for lots of years, you establish some “unwritten rules” of behavior. For example, it is not okay for me to wake Husband up to tell him about something I just thought of that was really funny. He will not find it amusing. Another example, it is not okay for him to wake me up to ask me if I am sleeping or what time I am planning on waking up. Simple things to keep a marriage going and prevent one unsuspecting individual from being pushed out of bed at importune moments.

I have a confession to make. I break one of these rules every chance I get.

You see, I have been banned from reading certain kinds of books in bed. Why you ask? Because “allegedly” I wake up Husband every time I read these certain books in bed. Okay, so… I’ll admit to occasionally laughing. Perhaps out loud. I attempt to behave myself and sometimes try to hold the laughter in. However, that tends to result in me shaking the bed so hard it wakes him up simply because I am laughing so hard and trying not to make a noise – all so as to not wake him. Or it results in the loud laugh-snort. None of it works. I laugh. Out loud. Every time. Thus...

THE BAN!

So last night I was ready. I came to bed as if everything was normal. I had my water (ahem, Diet Pepsi), my phone and my book.

“Freeze!” He looks at me hard.

“What?” I mutter in my most demure manner.

I was ready. You see, I am onto Husband. Ha! I knew he might be checking up on me so I did what any rational person in this situation would do. I put a different book cover over the “offending” book so it appeared to NOT be my forbidden fruit of hilariousness.

“What do you have?”

“Ummm, a drink, my phone and a book.” I held the book up for him to see. He looked doubtful but let it go.

I silently giggle and crawl into bed.

Within five minutes, I am giggling and trying to hold it in. By the second chapter, I am laughing out loud and trying desperately to be quiet.

“Hand it over!”

I jump. I thought he was asleep. “What? Huh? What do you mean?”

He lays there with his hand outstretched waiting for me to hand over my book.

“That is SO unfair!” I pout and hand over the book.

I guess I need to continue working on my plotting, sneaky skills.