So, today my eldest daughter (now 10 and in 5th grade) wanted to play on my laptop. I told her to have a go at it. She played games for a little bit and then I saw her typing a document, but that's nothing out of the ordinary. She likes to type poems or journal. After Big E abandoned my laptop, I picked it up and found THIS:
My life, Jumping in Hoops
My life has always been shunted aside by the little children. I don’t like it at all. For example when I win a baseball or a soccer game the little kids always will come first I say, “can we go out for ice cream” my parents say, “sorry the little ones are to tired.”
Second example my dad and I finally want some alone time and the little ones want to be with us also, so I say, “but Daddy it’s just us right ?”. But my Dad says “sorry maybe next time sweetheart”. That night I had a broken heart. And I was not a sweetheart.
Now you understand my pain and I thank you for listening if you did. I should go now.
I'm trying not to over-react or read too much into it or just plain ol' freak out. But...
OH!!! THE GUILT!!!!!!
What have I done to my first born? Have I really neglected her while taking care of her three younger siblings? Have I caused her trauma,which will require several years of therapy?!
I need to ponder this for a while.
5 comments:
Wow. I'd feel guilty, too, but I'm amazed at how a 10yo can be so articulate and know you'd read it. So clever a girl you have there.
Oh, how heartbreaking. But now you know and have a great opportunity to talk to her about it. And good for her for putting her feelings out there!
I agree with the first post, how articulate! I would praise her writing abilities lol
"What your children think about you at any one particular moment isn't necessarily what they will think about you for life." Dr. Kevin Leman...stole this off the positive parenting page. Good words to remember...
Thanks for the encouragement, ladies. I agree that my sweet girl can be very articulate for a 10 year old, but I think sometimes that means her words cut even deeper. She's an awesome daughter!
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