Crave

I crave sleep like a woman with child craves pickles. Perhaps not to the same degree, for I would not wrestle a bear or traffic for pickles (i.e. sleep) but it would produce a lighter feeling on a heavy laden day.

Having children always produces awkward sleep schedules, so I guess my adjustment to becoming a snow owl is a proper one. (Snow owl was chosen by means of thinking of nocturnal creatures and then ranking them by how adorable they are.)

I did, however, just read about Mark Twain's disgust for the German language. It was a good laugh. By the way, if you are thinking the Twain comment was random, I would like to remind you that I am a master of a short attention span. I prefer to say that I have an attention span that chooses to be interested in many things at once, pluralism of attention. That wins.

Fantastic

Last night we had a fantastic evening, enjoying the gorgeous weather and neighbors and wrapping things up with our first bonfire of the year. Who-hoo!!!

E tried so hard to stay awake with the adults, but she fell asleep on a plastic bench next to the bonfire among giggling, talkative adults. It was so precious!

Golden Rule

"People will forget what you said,

people will forget what you did,

but people will never forget

how you made them feel."

~ Maya Angelou

Trauma

Have you ever read something or watched a news clip and experienced that moment when the news made every single nerve ending in your entire body ache with wretched grief and utter despair?

Unfortunately (and fortunately) I am extremely susceptible to being deeply affected by the moods of those around me. This can include being unbearably sad and distressed at news of other peoples woes (even on behalf of people I don't know.) For this very reason, I do not watch the evening news, or television in general. It is full of awful stories that tear my heart up and I simply cannot bounce back from all of that horrendous news on a nightly basis.

I adore Loralee's Looney Tunes blog. She is the greatest. I love how emotionally raw and brave she is. She says things in an honest and unpretentious way and she doesn't apologize for it. I just read her blog post from September 2008 that shares some of the details of the death of her precious little baby boy, Matthew. Matthew died of SIDS in 2003.

*SIGH*

It is so gut wrenching that I was sobbing -- SOBBING!!!

I just ached with sadness and heartbreak for her. I, too, felt the shattering of her heart. The depth of her despair...

Around the time I was pregnant with E (my oldest child), or soon thereafter, someone very close to me got pregnant unexpectedly and after much agony decided to have an abortion. I remember pleading with my friend to keep the baby and allow me to adopt the baby if they didn't feel prepared to raise it. I don't even want to get into the whole Pro-Life/Pro-Choice debate. It's a highly charged issue with the God-loving Christian, yet strong, crazy Feminist in me. In any case, I pleaded with her to keep the baby and she choose not to. I tried to support her and her decision as best I could, but I grieved for the lost life of the unborn baby. I am still haunted by occasional dreams of meeting that little person and wondering about the "What if's" if that little baby would have grown up.

I am beyond blessed that God has given me four beautiful, healthy children to adore, cherish, honor, worship. My biggest fear EVER is losing one of my children. I love God with all my heart and soul. I also love the children will all of my heart and soul.

It scares me silly to say this, but I do not know if I could ever forgive God if He called one of my children home to heaven. I realize this is a huge thing and an awful thing to even contemplate, but it is something I have lain awake in the middle of the night and worried about.

With my history of severe depression, I do not know if I would make it through the quick sand of endless grief if I lost a child. Even now at this moment, the mere thought of the possibility... I shudder and weep some more.

Tonight, after I am through reading Loralee's tragic, unexplainable experience, I pray for the mercy of my Heavenly Father and beg Him to never EVER put me to that test. I honestly don't know that I could live through it.

More importantly, I pray for the hope and eternal compassion of God for those who belong to the lonely, unbearable club of parents who have lost children. I pray Abba comforts these poor, tortured souls.

Satisfied Taxpayer

Below is courtesy of MountainWings.

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Dear Internal Revenue Service:

On this April 15th tax return due date you will find enclosed my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper, dated November 12th, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Departmentof Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

Therefore, I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 inch Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

To recap my enclosures: Four toilet seats, Six hammers, and One screw.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer

Butt...

I love cute, little naked baby butts.

Now, now! Put down your telephone.

Do not pass "Go"! Or collect $200!

Do NOT take that comment wrong and

by all means,

please do not call the FBI or Child Services.

Come on, People!

Aren't these darling little munchkins?!

Then All My Friends Asked for One

I adore Momo Fali's blog. She cracks me up and makes me think deep thoughts. I couldn't help cackling when I read this blog posting:

On Friday night I attended a jewelry party. Although, it wasn't so much a jewelry party as it was a chance to get out with the girls, drink some wine and play dress-up with gold and silver that belonged to someone else.

The jewelry sales consultant organized a game for us, so that we could earn tickets for a chance to win a door prize. She would say a letter and we had to pull something out of our purse that started with that letter.

Being that I'm highly competitive, I felt my purse was well-stocked and that I could win the prize for sure. I'd collect all the tickets and walk away with that $5.00 bracelet if it killed me!

A few years ago, on a girl's weekend, my best friend emptied the contents of her purse on the dining room table. You had to see it to believe it because you name it, she had it. There were oodles of things which had no place in a handbag. I seem to recall her saying, "So there's my packing tape. Oh, and my Alice Cooper School's Out album from 1972!"

As much as I missed her company, I am thankful she and her Mary Poppins purse weren't there to compete with me on Friday.

The sales consultant started with "P" and a lady I'll refer to as Quick-Draw proudly held up her phone. It wasn't more than a nanosecond.

The next letter was "G" and before I could get my gloss into my hand, someone held up gum.

Next came "M", and I can't even tell you what the winner had that time, because I was busy thinking about tossing the contents of my purse across the room.

But, it pays to be patient so instead I held tight and waited. When the consultant said the letter "D" and all the ladies were trying to find their drivers licenses, I not only won the ticket, but I also won for originality.

That's right, I pulled out my dog's tranquilizers.

After 11 years, that mutt is finally starting to pay off.

He is Risen Indeed!

We had a fantastic Easter Sunday. Brunch at 10am, home by noon for an Egg Hunt in the backyard and spent the rest of the day lounging around outside -- enjoying the gorgeous warm, sunny weather God blessed us with.

Heavenly time with good family and friends!

Colorful

We colored Easter eggs today. It was tons of fun and as messy as ever.

We were actually brave enough to boil and prepare for a coloring marathon with TEN (yes, I said 10!!!) dozen eggs. However, I may have been a bit over-zealous. The wee ones only survived through about 6 dozen and E only managed to stay with is through the eighth dozen.

Nanny, Sister MJ and I finished the rest. Oh well!

Dance like...

Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like no one is listening, and
Live like it's heaven on earth.


~ Alfred Souza

Welcome

Welcome to my World!

I love this craziness... some days more than others.

Flip and Flipette

Auntie Katie has a new salt water fish tank. At 60 gallons, it is massive (in my opinion). The kids love the fish because they remind them of their favorite characters in "Finding Nemo" -- with the exception of "Bruce".

To see more about Bruce, go to this old post.

Daddy's Version of Babysitting

Blogging 101

I stumbled upon a blog post that I love. I think this "mommy blogger" captures so many of my thoughts and insecurities dead on... It's worth a good read.

http://www.milkbreathandmargaritas.com/2009/03/philosophy-of-blogging-101.html

Sometimes a little snicker of annoyance can be so disheartening you don't post for days.

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Blogging is essentially a narcissistic act.

To blog is to call undue attention to oneself. "Undue" being the operative word.

A blogger and her readers are one big mutual admiration society.

Blogging has created a first draft society where anyone can put ideas and opinions "out there," unvetted & unedited, presented as if it is worthy of reading and reflection when most of it is idiotic or merely senseless rambling with no value added in terms of public discourse.

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As a memoirist-type of writer, if I wrote in a journal every day that was kept in my bedside table would that be a more noble, more humble, more appropriate thing to do? It makes no demands on anyone else. There is clearly no motivation to elicit feedback (attention). I would not be burdening the general public with the swings of my mood, my grammatical errors, flickr streams of pictures of my kids, or my thoughts on breastfeeding, hand lotions, the economic crisis, and ruffles being "in" this spring.Is it perhaps the case that, like with praying in private so as not to be showing off how pious you are, journaling should be done in private so as not to show off how silly or stupid or smart or troubled or wonderful you are. Is this type of writing a more pure act, with cleaner motivations, if you aren't sharing it intentionally with the whole effing world. I mean, why would you do that?

Show off.

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When I glance back through my archived posts it is apparent to me that I don't have time to be a writer. Maybe someday. There is rarely anything posted here that I would hold up as a piece of work I was very proud of, with one exception: my boys. I've recorded things here about my kids that I'm happy with. One thing that keeps me going when I feel stupid about blogging is that someday, if I can do it long enough, there will be posts I can pull out among the silly and stupid and pointless things that will capture how I felt about my boys as I watched them grow up. Things I promised myself I'd never forget.So I don't quit. Even when I feel this big about being a blogger.

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I don't fully disagree with the opening statements (which I'm sure you've also heard in some form or another).

Bloggers always say: You don't have to read it. You turn the radio station. You refuse to buy the book. You surf over the channels on the television. You can click away from my blog too.

But the point of this post isn't "if you don't like my blog, click away." The issue is the value of the act of personal blogging in terms of simply spending some amount of time doing it. Particularly as regards the presumption that people will find it interesting enough to read, and most especially concerning the aspect of comments - the things that make it different from private journaling.For actual writers who have a blog it really can be a tool to facilitate feedback that helps them hone their craft. But what of the average "mommy blogger?"

Am I indulging in something so essentially self-serving as to be really, at a basic level, nothing but an ego feeder? "It's MY blog. I can say what I want here. I'm going to vent my internal dialogue in public and feel better about myself when the comments come in saying how nice I look or assuring me that I'm right or not alone or doing great. Because... say it with me... IT'S ALL ABOUT ME."

(Put aside for the moment the issue of hateful comments/trolls. We all experience this sooner or later, but for the most part a blog's readers are a faithful and sympathetic audience of like minded people who say nice things. You know, like friends.)

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Is there an attention-grab inherent in personal blogging that actually taints it? Is this a form of hubris that I should be repenting of, not indulging? After all, I have a public memoir of sorts here and I'm interacting with a not entirely insignificant number of people who are, inexplicably, reading about my life. Is it not the height of presumption to think random people would be interested in my feelings and experiences? And worse, to continue to feed that beast once people start to show up and watch me do my blog thing?

How is it not ridiculous to make our personal journals and baby books public?

Go get some real friends already.

April in Minnesota

My child is sunburned!

It is April 3rd.

She may have played outside for over 4 hours, but for goodness sakes... It's still only APRIL IN MINNESOTA. Gotta love fair skin.

Guess it's time to break out the sunscreen again.

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
It's been a loooonnngggg winter.

Should I be worried...

that I found THIS in my children's bedroom?

I am curious -- do children who dismember dolls grow up

to be healthy, productive, responsible adults?

Redheads

Alrighty, since I have red hair (at least what hasn't turned white yet), my husband has reddish hair and three of our four children have red hair, I decided to do a search and see what the world wide web has to say about us. Gee whiz! It certainly wasn't all good... but it was amusing. So read on with a grain of salt.

Before you read the nonsense below, please read my favorite quote:

"Once in his life, every man many is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead." ~Lucille Ball [AMEN!]

1. Red hair is seen on the heads of only four percent of people. Supposedly, most of these people exist in the U.K., the Republic of Ireland, and Australia.
2. The highest percentage of natural redheads in the world is in Scotland (13%), followed closely by Ireland with 10%. In the US, about 2% of the population are natural redheads.
3. Red hair is a genetic mutation. [Huh?! My children's beauty is a genetic mutation?]
4. There is a belief that redheads are prone to industrial deafness.
5. Red headedness is, genetically speaking, a recessive trait. It may skip several generations and both parents must carry the gene to have redheaded offspring.
6. Redheads don't turn grey. Red hair turns sandy, then white. They are also found to loose their color later in life than people carrying other hair colors. [Bummer for me -- it isn't later in my life when I am losing the color!]
7. A 2002 study found that redhead are harder to sedate than any other people requiring twenty percent more anesthesia. Inadequate doses have caused people to wake up during surgery. (Eek!!!)
8. Redheads are three times more sensitive than other people to drugs.
9. In the late 16th century, the fat of a redheaded man was an essential ingredient for poison.
10. The Egyptians regarded the color as so unlucky that they had a ceremony in which they burned red-headed maidens alive to wipe out the tint.
11. An Irish judge in 2001 fined a man for disorderly conduct stating "I am a firm believer that hair coloring has an effect on temper and your coloring suggests you have a temper."
12. Redheads have historically been thought untrustworthy. Judas is most always depicted as a redhead -- displaying the prejudice against red hair.
13. Adolph Hitler reportedly banned the marriages of two redheads as he feared their children would be "deviant offspring".
14. Red haired children have been historically branded as offspring of "unclean" sex. (Ahem! I have three redheaded children and I think this one is absurd!)
15. Bees are thought to sting redheads more than others.
16. In Denmark it is an honor to have a redheaded child.
17. In Poland, if you pass three red-heads you'll win the state lottery. (I am moving to Poland, lining my kids up on the street, and winning the lottery!)
18. In Greek mythology, redheads turn into Vampires when they die.
19. During the Spanish Inquisition flame colored hair was evidence that its owner had stolen the fire of hell and had to be burned as a witch.
20. Russian tradition declares that red hair is both a sign that a person holds a fiery temper and craziness. (Definitely true in my case.)
21. Aristotle was known to believe that redheads were emotionally unhousebroken.
22. A French Proverb states that "redheaded women are either violent or false, and usually are both."
23. Twenty U.S. presidents have been redheads, including George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Ulysses Grant and Calvin Coolidge.

Wikipedia's take on red hair: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_hair