Add What We Can

"We are here to add what we can to life,

not to see what we can get from life."

~ William Osler, Physician (1849-1919)

Life Lesson

E (my almost 9-year old daughter) to me: Mom! I have funny toes. Just look at that "piggly" toe...

Me: Your what?

E: My piggly toe. You know, the little one. It's so little and weird.

Me: Honey, do you mean your "pinkie" toe, like this? (I hold up my pinkie finger.)

E: Nooooo. It's my piggly toe.

Me: I think it's called your PINKIE toe.

E: No. It's not.

Me: Are you sure? I think I have always heard it referred to as a pinkie, or maybe a baby, toe.

E: No, Mom! I am right. What do you call this toe? (She is pointing at the toe next to her pinkie toe.)

Me: Ummm... I don't know. It's just a toe.

E: Mom, it's not called a "ring" toe, like on your hand (pointing to her ring finger) -- so, this little toe is my piggly toe -- not my pinkie toe. Toes have different names than fingers. Geez! Don't you know anything?

Me: Ummm... apparently not.
________
How can you argue with that kind of logic? Seriously?! It was flawed but quite ingenious, wouldn't you agree?

Before Blogs

Once upon a time, back before there were blogs, people kept diaries. They were the "old fashioned" with things like paper kind, where they wrote down what they did each day and what they ate and what they dreamed. And then we started this new fangled trend of blogging. Now everything is public, and if you’re like me, you sometimes long for those old paper diaries -- perhaps the kind with the leather covers and the silk bookmarks.

Any body with me on this? Just think... what are future generations missing if we don't leave behind some of our thoughts on paper? Technology is fabulous, but aren't we losing an important link to generations, past and future?

Baking with The Muppets

I love baking and I love The Muppets, so I found this clip amusing and reminisicent of childhood evenings watching The Muppets Show.

4th of July Pictures

I am behind but still wanted to share some pictures from our Fourth of July celebration.

This year we mixed it up a bit and went to the small carnival and fireworks in Apple Valley. We ended up having a great time, despite needing to run for cover when a huge thunderstorm came in suddenly. During the storm, Katie, and I had a *FABULOUS* time watching Deegan and my four munchkins at McDonald's Playland for over two hours.

Chris ended up acting as sober cab to Jim & Molly when they took a brief field trip from McDonald's Playland to the American Legion a few blocks over.

Cover Girl

More lyrics...

Since last week I talked about some of my old school musical loves (dc Talk), I thought I would continue along this path of reminiscing and share who was my very first love.

Donnie Wahlberg, baby!

Yep, that's right. I was obsessed with NKOTB -- please tell me you know who I am talking about!

New Kids on the Block?!?!?!?

Oh yeah! They were my favorite when I was in elementary school. (I can't believe I am admitting this.) I went to several concerts (what was my mom thinking?!?!?) and I was allowed to stay up late to see them on either Leno or Letterman, as well as tape it with our nifty VCR so I could watch the three minute song clip over and over and over and over and over... and over ... up to five million times a day, just so I could re-scream and re-swoon every time I watched it.

Below are the lyrics of "Cover Girl" -- probably one of my all-time fave NKOTB songs. Mind you, this wasn't my favorite because of the deeply meaningful lyrics. It was simply my favorite because my heartthrob Donnie Wahlberg sang it directly to me!!! Or so my delusional self thought... Rock on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkXrAuR951c



Cover Girl

I get up in the morning and I see your face, girl
You're looking so good, every things in place
Don't you know I could never leave your side girl
Wont you stay here with me and be my bride?

Don't you know you're my kind, you're just what I like
Girl you're everything, don't you know you're alright
The only girl Ive always needed for so long

Chorus:
Oh, oh-oh, shes my cover girl
Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh, shes my cover girl
Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh

When I look through the pages of a magazine
Still, your pretty face is the prettiest Ive seen
Don't you know I only want to be with you
No other girl could make me feel the way you do
You're my everything

Chorus twice

Its alright
Oh, yeah, its out of sight
Let me say its alright
Ah, yeah!

Don't you know I only want to be with you
No other girl could make me feel the way you do
You're my everything

Thirty-Six Years

THIRTY-SIX YEARS!

Friday, July 3rd was supposed to be my parents 36th wedding anniversary.

Thirty-six is an impressive number. Or rather, it would have been if my parents hadn't divorced many, many years ago when I was in junior high school. July 3rd is always a bit of a sad day for me. Especially now that I am married...

I worry and wonder if my marriage will also meet the same fate.

It goes without saying that I am committed to my marriage 110%! I have no doubt in my heart of hearts that Hubby and I are in it for the long haul. I believe we are willing to make all of the necessary sacrifices for our marriage to work.

Yet, the inexplicitly depressing part is, I think my mom felt the same way. She was completely committed to her marriage and I think she expected it to last. It appears my mom was blind-sided when my dad came to her in April of 1991 and told her that he wanted a "trial separation". I cannot imagine the emotional scars she must have from that experience.

My father too. Yet, I find it harder to relate to his point of view. The child in me stomps my foot and hisses, "But he CHOSE to leave. Plus he wasn't left without any way to make ends meet and the scary responsibility of supporting three, insane girls like Mom was."

I am quite aware of the emotional baggage I carry around. As I have become an adult, I reflect on my life experiences, particularly those emotionally charged situations from childhood. The more I reflect, the more I have a deep rooted and new-found sense of appreciation for what my mom experienced and how she raised us, her three, crazy, strong-willed and rebellious daughters.

Wow! I have meandered and trampled all over the board as I blog today...

I am sad that my parent's marriage didn't survive. I am scared that, despite my best intentions and tons of hard work, my marriage won't make it to 36 years. I am in awe of all of the couples that have made it through the rough spots.

To lighten up things a bit, I guess statistics shouldn't be taken into account. I mean, Come on, People! Let's think about the challenges Hubby and I have already experienced to get where we are. Statistics aside, it appears the ODDS HAVE TO BE IN OUR FAVOR!

The cliff-notes version of our formerly highly, unpredictable relationship includes

* Started dating when I was 19-ish and he was 22 or 23.
* Had a rocky relationship with s couple of break ups over 2-3 years.
* Had a final, awful break-up.
* Less than 2 weeks later, I discovered I was pregnant.
* Our precious E (now almost 9 years old) was born August 2000.
* We co-parented E from separate houses, and never re-newed our romantic relationship.
* Fast forward four years -- C was in a relationship with J.
* In June 2004, my precious, step daughter H (who just turned 5 years old) was born.
* C and J broke-up.
* C and I reconciled. August 2004, Little E and I moved in with C.
* Our 3rd daughter, G was born in September 2005.
* C and I were married in November 2005.
* Our only son (4th child), D was born in November 2006.

The rest, as they say, is history.

So, give me your honest opinion... we're gonna make it, right? We've just been "blessed" enough to have our worst hardships in the beginning of our relationship, right? Right?!

Freedom

Freedom -- What does it mean to you?

Do we, as citizens of one of the greatest democracies on the planet, fully appreciate all of our awesome blessings -- freedom to disagree with our government without threat of incarceration or even death? freedom to vote for our often wicked and egotistical leaders? freedom to raise any number of children we choose in whatever manner we choose? freedom to worship any god (btw, there is only one, true God) or entity that we choose? freedom to choose any life path or career that we desire?

These are phenomenal blessings that many men and women made grand sacrifices to enable us these luxuries.


As we celebrate Independence Day for the United States of America, I am reminded of the awesome responsibility we have to appreciate our blessings and freedoms. Just look at the worldwide news and remember why you love the USA, including all of it's shortcomings.


Honduras' President removed from office by military coup
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8135358.stm


Iran's "democratic" elections have questionable results
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8134904.stm


Charity workers kidnapped in Darfur
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8112541.stm

Fourth

Some days I really feel like I have failed my son, our fourth child.

He was born just 14-months after his very, very spirited, high-maintenance sister, G. G was needy of my attention from the get-go. I mean, this is just a little thing, but a perfect example of how dramatic little girls can be from a wee young age. When my D-boy was just a few months old my 14-month old petite little thing stubbornly exclaimed “I do it myself!” so, as my newborn son tried desperately to get both attention and basic needs from his mother, I was hoisting G's little heiney up onto the toilet 47 times a day, or watching her try on her eighteenth outfit for the day and exclaiming it, too, did not match.

Ms. G (or Princess Booger, as we call her when she's on a roll) was never content to play on her own; and D always was. Princess Booger needed constant feedback; and my big man never did. Princess Booger wanted, nay needed, to do x,y, and z; and my guy was just content to go with her flow. An easy baby. A baby I thanked my lucky stars for. He napped (G never did); he liked the car seat (G never did); he liked the stroller (G never did). EASY. Requiring very little effort.

Now, as I look at the awesomely head-strong toddler he is becoming, I wonder if I did him a disservice by just assuming he was going with the flow and enjoying it...

I am so very glad that I have four lovely, healthy, intelligent children, but I wonder -- is there enough of me to be able to give them everything they need emotionally? Am I short changing them?!

Please, God, give me the knowledge and wisdom to meet my children's needs emotionally and spiritually.

Like This?

Have you ever felt like this?

I have been feeling seriously overwhelmed and crazy weirdness recently. Way too much stress and I don't know why my anxiety levels have been so extradoniarly out of whack.

I think I need to take a serious inventory of everything and everyone in my life. I need to start making some hard decisions and setting painful, but productive boundaries. Meh! Life shouldn't be so challenging. I think a good, nay GREAT, place to start making changes is with my attitude. I need an attitude of gratitude!

Another good place to start...

Talented

Say what you will, but I am really sad that Michael Jackson is dead. I think I am in shock and don't really believe it. It seems surreal. And for the record, I feel bad for Farrah Fawcett that she totally got shortchanged because they both died the same day.

As a child of the 80s, Michael Jackson was huge in my life. (Who didn't drive around town with one of his zillion top 10 hits blaring from their parents car radio?) When I've brought up Michael Jackson's untimely death to several people though, I have found them mostly unsympathetic. One even commented, "One less pedophile in the world is a good thing."

I have no idea if Michael Jackson was a pedophile or not. I saw news coverage of people who accused him of things, bizzare behavior at his trial, his strangely changing appearance. No doubt about it--he was one weird dude.

But really it all just makes me sad because he had such a bizzare life from the get go.

Obviously, I really only know what the media feeds us, but it's not like he had a normal upbringing or family, and he was pretty much a prisoner of his own fame.

So I'm sitting here watching a Michael Jackson retrospective and feeling nostalgic. Hilariously, I'm seeing many of these videos for the first time. We didn't have cable growing up so the only time I ever saw music videos was when I babysat for a family who did have MTV. As soon as the kids were in bed I used to sit for hours watching videos (because that was back in the day when MTV actually showed music videos!)

Watching the videos, either for the first time or the 50th time, and listening to his music like I haven't in years, I'm reminded of his huge talent and musical genius. And it makes me sad for him and his family. And for me because frankly, a little of my youth died last Thursday, too.