I simply cannot explain what happened without crying.
Needless to say, the Little Man needs a professional barber,
who apparently is NOT ME!!!
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Hair Clippers Mishap
I simply cannot explain what happened without crying.
Needless to say, the Little Man needs a professional barber,
who apparently is NOT ME!!!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Boogers
The other day, Little Boo (who is 4) said, "When I grow up, I think I'll get married."
I asked, "How will you choose who to marry?"
She said, "I'll find someone who doesn't have a name yet, so I can name them myself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wee ones have discovered how much fun it is to sit behind me on the couch with their legs wrapped around my hips. Then I have to stand up so the wee ones can show me how big my butt is. Then to make it even more hilarious, the wee ones figured out that Husband laughed even harder if, when I stood up, they spread their little legs out as far as they could possibly go before reporting my "size".
Nice! Real nice!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My nine-year old daughter woke me up over the weekend with this question:
"Mom, are boogers nose poop?"
I asked, "How will you choose who to marry?"
She said, "I'll find someone who doesn't have a name yet, so I can name them myself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wee ones have discovered how much fun it is to sit behind me on the couch with their legs wrapped around my hips. Then I have to stand up so the wee ones can show me how big my butt is. Then to make it even more hilarious, the wee ones figured out that Husband laughed even harder if, when I stood up, they spread their little legs out as far as they could possibly go before reporting my "size".
Nice! Real nice!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My nine-year old daughter woke me up over the weekend with this question:
"Mom, are boogers nose poop?"
Monday, October 26, 2009
Old Dog, New Tricks?
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
The police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed... Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both. The dogs are eating them right now." He hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team,a Heli copter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
The police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed... Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both. The dogs are eating them right now." He hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team,a Heli copter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Thanksgiving Divorce
My neighbor sent me the following email and as my husband and I discussed it -- we said that with four kids, we hope we don’t have to resort to the following when our kids are grown.
Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Jacksonville, FL calls his son in San Diego, CA the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "‘We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they’re getting divorced. I’ll take care of this!"
She calls Jacksonville immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Do not do a single thing until I get there. I am calling my brother back and we will both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing! DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Jacksonville, FL calls his son in San Diego, CA the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "‘We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they’re getting divorced. I’ll take care of this!"
She calls Jacksonville immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Do not do a single thing until I get there. I am calling my brother back and we will both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing! DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Unger Report
Dear Friends, You know that I am forever ONLY listening to public talk radio. My poor, deprived children probably don't even know that my car radio (or home stereo) is capable of playing music. I admit it is a serious addiction -- especially when my children are deprived of music in their life and then there is the proof that my listening is getting out of control when I end up blogging about it... However, I figure there are worse things to subject the children to then intelligent, liberal (LOVE LIBERAL!), "unbias" talk news radio.
Earlier this month I posted about Daniel Schorr's view on patriotism and now I need to beg you to listen to Brian Unger's humorous look at Americans faced with a failing economy. FUNNY! Take a listen...
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92739739
Earlier this month I posted about Daniel Schorr's view on patriotism and now I need to beg you to listen to Brian Unger's humorous look at Americans faced with a failing economy. FUNNY! Take a listen...
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92739739
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