As every parent discovers sooner or later, it is useless to purchase your children expensive toys. It NEVER fails that children will find more excitement, contentment and amusement with a large cardboard box, then the expensive, whooped-doo toy that you spend lots of your hard earned paper money on. Example shown below...
Last week I brought my precious nine-year old daughter to Husband's work to sell Girl Scout cookies. All was going relatively well. A group of husband's coworkers were gathered around chatting. Suddenly, out of the blue, my sweet, dimpled, smiling three-year old son felt the need to all-but-shout (and I quote!):
Some days (or WEEKS) it is harder to manage a smile. This is one of those days in the middle of one of those weeks. So I resort to recycling other folks sarcasm.
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
7. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
8. God must love stupid people. He made so many...
9. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
10. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
11. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Madeleine Peyroux is a talented and versatile artist who can sound sultry and romantic one moment and almost rocker-esque in the next moment. I've seen this phenomenal woman in concert twice and can't wait to see her a third time. I adore her voice and everything about the way she sounds. Grab a smooth glass of wine, turn down the lights, and sit back to enjoy Ms. Peyroux.
Dance Me to the End of Love
~ Madeleine Peyroux
Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Have you ever been to the Mill City Museum on the edge of downtown Minneapolis? It's a really interesting place! The museum's website describes the museum as:
"Built into the ruins of what was once the world’s largest flour mill, Mill City Museum is located on the historic Mississippi Riverfront... learn about the intertwined histories of the flour industry, the river, and the city of Minneapolis."
E's fourth-grade class took a field trip to Mill City last week and I was lucky enough to chaperone. It was FASCINATING! I loved everything about it and I am not usually a history fanatic. I can't wait to bring the entire family!
Last night, I threw a surprise party for my fantastic friend and neighbor, Carol. However, the party had a twist... it was at Carol's house. I am so terrible that I threw a surprise party for a friend AT HER OWN HOME. (Me defending myself -- My home is always so messy! And her's is always spotless...)
I was so excited the entire week before the party. I had a hard time keeping the secret to myself. I wanted to jump up and down and tell Carol all about the plans, but I managed to control myself and she ended up being surprised.
We had tons of fun. Perhaps a tad bit too much fun. Enough fun that the end result may have been a teensy bit of a hang over the next morning. C'est la vie! It was all well worth it!
I never saw the movie Benny and Joon, but I understand that movie is what sky-rocketed this week's song to #1 in 1993 -- "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)". Again, I know I am still stuck in the 90's and enjoying listening to my throw-backs...
I always thought it would be quirky fun to have this song blare as I walked down the aisle at my very non-traditional wedding. Oh! To be an idealistic, tradition-bucking, young woman with a head full of crazy and unrealistic dreams... SIGH!
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
- The Proclaimers
When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you.
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
Martin Luther King, Jr., The Measures of Man, 1959
Today we celebrate the birthday of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.. He was a phenomenal, iconic leader whose life was tragically and abruptly ended much too early by a hateful man. Today, let us remember some of MLK's greatest accomplishments and honor him by volunteering in our local communities.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars--must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
A man in England was sledding in a Kayak when police approached with riot shields. The Kayak sledder worried he had broken the law until the policemen turned their shields into sleds. A video made its way to YouTube. The police chief wasn't amused but admitted that snow brings out the child in every one.
Associated Press: Updated: 01/14/2010 11:11:05 AM CST
LONDON — Some British bobbies have been reprimanded after they used their riot shields as makeshift sleds during the country's cold snap.
A passer-by filmed the bobbies goofing around on a snowy hill in Oxford and posted the clip on YouTube. It shows a policeman barreling downhill while another shouts, "Whatever happens, keep smiling!"
Rick Latham, who filmed the scene on Tuesday, said he was pleasantly surprised by the officers' actions. He thought they were going to scold him for trying to slide down the hill in a kayak.
Thames Valley Police Superintendent Andrew Murray said today he had told the officers "that tobogganing on duty, on police equipment and at taxpayers' expense is a very bad idea."
But he added that snow brings "out the child in all of us."
Seriously, the heartbreak and awesome honesety this woman spews is PHENOMENAL! And she does it all with a hilarious streak a mile wide. Below is a link to her post titled "A Fairy Tale" that is a tribute to her husband of eleven years on their anniversary.
I am stuck on a 90's kick and so I am offering up Melissa Etheridge's "Come to My Window". Love the lyrics and Ms E's raspy, sexy voice.
Come to My Window - Melissa Etheridge
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give
Or how much I can take
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
Keeping my eyes open
I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises
I know that I can't keep
Nothing fills the blackness
That has seeped into my chest
I need you in my blood
I am forsaking all the rest
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
I don't care what they think
I don't care what they say
What do they know about this
love anyway
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
Last week on a gloriously cold morning as I was putting on jeans that all of the sudden felt too tight. (I have an excuse! It's getting to be THAT time of the month and HELLO! I'm bloated!) My Little Boo noticed me getting irritable.
She smiled the most angelic of smiles and said, "Mommy, no matter how big or small you are - you always have a big heart!"
I stopped dead in my tracks. At first I thought it was so sweet! I thought "I'm doing something right!"
Then a very different thought occured to me and I thought to myself, "Wait a minute... is my four-year daughter trying to be *gentle* in calling me fat!?"
I was trying to think of songs from the 1990's that I had forgotten about but had loved back in the day. As I pondered this, I remembered how nice it was/is to simply look at Enrique Iglesias -- even if I don't always love his music. So this brought me to "Hero" and " Bailamos" and then to "Escape."
So today, we "Escape"... Quite stalker-ish, but I still think it's kind of catchy.
Escape by Enrique Iglesias
You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love
You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love
Here's how it goes
You and me, up and down
But MAYBE this time we'll get it right
Worth a fight
'Cause love is something you cant SHARE
When it breaks (When it breaks)
All it takes is some tryin'
If you feel like leaving
I'm not gonna BEG YOU TO stay
'Cause soon you'll be finding
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
So, if you go
You should know (you should know)
It's hard to just forget the past
So fast
It was good (it was good)
It was bad but it was real
And that's all you have
In the end our love matters (Oh no no no yeah)
If you feel like leaving
I'm not gonna BEG YOU TO (I won't BEG YOU TO stay)
Cuz soon you'll be finding
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
(You can run, you can run)
(You can hide, you can hide)
But you can't escape my love (my love)
You can run (you can run)
You can hide (you can hide)
But you can't escape my love
Here's how it goes
All it takes is some tryin' (Baby you can run)
If you feel like leavin'
I'm not gonna beg you to stay (I won't beg you to stay)
Cuz soon you'll be finding (you'll be finding)
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love (Can't escape my love)
If you feel like leavin'
I'm not gonna beg you to stay (You can't escape my love)
Cuz soon you'll be finding
You can run, you can hide,
But you can't escape my love
You can run
You can run
You can run (Baby you can run, baby you can hide)
You can run (But you can't escape my love)
You can run (Baby you can run, baby you can hide)
You can run (But you can't escape my love)
You can run (Baby you can run, baby you can hide)
You can run (But you can't escape my love)
You can run
You can run
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
Yesterday morning I woke up with hives. At first I thought it was just my sensitive skin acting up again, but after several hours of itching like crazy -- basically until my skin bled -- I decided it was more than just sensitive skin.
If you have never had the pleasure of having hives, let me describe it for you. It's like being covered with mosquito bites... everywhere.
A thousand of them.
On your scalp, your eyes, inside your ears, your shoulders, your elbows, your forearms, your hands, your stomach, your crotch, your thighs, your knees, your shins, your ankles and, my personal favorite, the soles of your feet.
I was scratching so much that my husband said I looked like a dog... with fleas... and bedbugs.
SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?! People! Have some sympathy!
The Hubster brought me some Benadryl, but I was feeling miserable and too far gone to be very gracious. So well all other pretty families were enjoying their Sunday morning brunch, I was all like, "Yo Dude! Isn't there something else up in here a bit stronger than Benadryl?"
There was. It was called Diet Pepsi and RUM! Given the fact that Hubster was sick of my psychotic Sybil-imitation, he was happy to oblige. Despite the fact that it was only noon on Sunday and a proper combo of Benadryl and alcohol was likely to put me into a slurring, sleeping heap of non-helpful parenthood.
I guess he thought that was preferable to my Tourette's like screaming of obscenities as I scratched my skin into bloody ribbons and perhaps because my children were beginning to think I was crazy as I kept taking off my socks to scratch the bottom of my feet.
Also, I may have slightly resembled a leper.
I was so agitated that I want to tear my own skin open. I actually told my poor Hubster that I was to the point that I would rather take off all my clothes and wriggle around on a bed of nails, or rub up on the scratchy side of a Velcro rug, than stand there and talk to him.
So five minutes later, it was with a smile that That Man brought me a rather strong glass of Diet Pepsi and Rum. I'm sure that I no longer looked like a dog.
Because this chick? Was sweating like a pig from all of the wiggling and scratching.
The other day, Little Boo (who is 4) said, "When I grow up, I think I'll get married."
I asked, "How will you choose who to marry?"
She said, "I'll find someone who doesn't have a name yet, so I can name them myself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wee ones have discovered how much fun it is to sit behind me on the couch with their legs wrapped around my hips. Then I have to stand up so the wee ones can show me how big my butt is. Then to make it even more hilarious, the wee ones figured out that Husband laughed even harder if, when I stood up, they spread their little legs out as far as they could possibly go before reporting my "size".
Nice! Real nice!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My nine-year old daughter woke me up over the weekend with this question:
We had tons of fun. Perhaps a tad bit too much fun. Enough fun that the end result may have been a teensy bit of a hang over the next morning. C'est la vie! It was all well worth it!
