More Therapy

***TMI ALERT***

(By the way, TMI stands for "Too Much Information". You have been warned!)

Remember all the delicious foods that go along with the holidays?

Yeah. Me too. I remember them. I ate them. ALL of them. Seemingly nonstop for nearly a month.

Don't misunderstand... I enjoyed myself!

EVERY.
SINGLE.
OVERINDULGENT.
BITE!

Of course...having ingested vast amounts of holiday goodies left me with some very much unwanted weight. This weight prompted me and a friend to begin a search for a garment. One such garment that might help to shield our excesses from the world until we were able to rid ourselves of it!

This search led us to Spanx.

We perused the site but I was a bit scared, so only my friend made the order.

When the package arrived at her house, we were eager to see what was inside. Imagine our surprise when she pulled it out and realized it was crotchless!

Not since our high school days, when my friend and I went into a Frederick's on a dare had I beheld anything sans crotch. AND since there was nothing even remotely sexy about this garment, I was intrigued as to why that important area was missing. As we read the tag, I began to realize that this was to aid in the responding to calls of nature. In fact, the tag actually said something along those lines. This garment was made so that it did not have to be removed when going to the restroom.

Well! I am here to tell you... Do NOT believe the hype! Whatever you do, EVEN IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, do not -- I repeat, DO NOT -- attempt to use the restroom while wearing the garment. According to my friend (who shall definitely remain anonymous), it will NOT end well.

My advice: just let your fat roll show until you get motivated enough to get rid of it. I can assure you, I will be employing this tactic from now on!

So after I got down rolling around on the floor, laughing at my poor friend as she shared her traumatic experience with me, I am currently seeking therapy to deal with my new found fears of both restrooms and shaping garments. Will keep you posted.

Blow the Whistle

So January has officially kicked my arse. Someone, please blow the whistle! I’m ready for a new month.

Can it be that it is only Thursday?

Seriously?

January is the hangover that all the fun you had December gives you.

February... now that is a good month!

It starts out with a very important holiday... Ground Hogs Day! Whoo-hoo!

Then, of course,we are on to Valentines Day. That glorious hallmark holiday designed to remind our tired suburban husbands that they love us. "Hey Honey! You Love Me!!!" (BTW, I live in the city proper, none of that suburb junk for me!)

Then we get President’s Day! How can it get better than that?

February is such a cool month that it can’t be bothered with days that start with 3.

I can’t wait till February.

Protein

Of all the food items to be next on the this-could-kill-you list: peanut butter!
Probably three-quarters of my eight-year-olds protein comes from peanut butter. Her actual peanut butter is not yet on the recall list, but I’m watching that list closely. E’s whole universe may fall if she can’t have her daily peanut-butter sandwich.

For those of you who also are concerned about which peanut, peanut butter and peanut paste products are on the ever-growing list of foods recalled due to the possibility of salmonella, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has posted a searchable list of products, and they promise to keep the list updated.

Please keep in mind that this list seems to be changing hourly. Just because something wasn’t on the list yesterday doesn’t mean it won’t be there today.

BTW, all peanut butter used in Girl Scout cookies (for the bakers in my area -- MN) have been cleared as being okay. http://www.girlscouts.org/news/news_releases/2009/girl_scout_cookies.asp

Endangered peanut butter—what’s next?! If Kraft recalls Macaroni-and-Cheese, my children will starve!

Look Closely

Look closely... the little boy fell asleep reading his precious Elmo book. Too funny! He is out cold, but the book stayed propped open between the crib bars. I have a similar pic of E doing the same thing (sleeping while reading) but I can't find that pic right now -- that was pre-digital.

Kind of reminds you of this...

or This?

Thanksgiving Divorce

My neighbor sent me the following email and as my husband and I discussed it -- we said that with four kids, we hope we don’t have to resort to the following when our kids are grown.

Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Jacksonville, FL calls his son in San Diego, CA the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "‘We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they’re getting divorced. I’ll take care of this!"

She calls Jacksonville immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Do not do a single thing until I get there. I am calling my brother back and we will both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing! DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Emancipation

Favorite quote found on a fellow parent's blog:

"This blog will be my children's evidence when they sue for emancipation."

LOVE IT!

Touching

No big political statement here.

No Bush-bashing, or Obama-worshipping here.

Whatever your political affiliations are, today is the first day of a new administration and change is in the air.

So as we return to life-as-usual today, with all of the challenges and frustrations and realities that come with it, I just thought I’d put up an image from last night that kind of put a lump in my throat. It is a picture of two people who have found themselves poised on the brink of history, embracing each other and dancing. It was a sweet, human moment at the end of a long, often-divisive campaign and it just felt kinda hopeful and… I don’t know, I just wanted to share it with you guys!