Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words
on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity and
its first chapter is New Year's Day."
~Edith Lovejoy Pierce
Application for Minnesota Citizenship
Sex: ___ Ole ___ Lena
Home Address: ________________
Cabin Address: ________________
Religion: _____ Lutheran ______ Catholic
Income: ____We do OK. ____We're Blessed. ____Mind Your Own Hotdish.
Qualifications: (check all that apply)
___ I own a gas powered ice auger.
___ Fargo floods hit a little close to home.
___ I can name a dozen celebrities who've stayed at the Mayo.
___ I can name a dozen celebrities who've stayed at Hazelton.
___ I've been trick or treating in two feet of snow.
___ My grandmother made me eat lutefisk.
___ I liked it!
___ I've been to a block party.
___ My first beer was an Old Milwaukee.
___ My snowmobile has more miles on it than my car.
___ I have a back up set of jumper cables in my trunk.
___ Despite what everyone else says I DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT!
(Yah! For sure, you betcha I don't.)
___ I actually listen to telemarketers.
___ "Have a Nice Day" is an ORDER!
___ TV news anchors are celebrities.
___ Part of my tongue is on a flagpole somewhere.
___ It's not a rubber binder! It's a rubber band.
___ They mistake pop for "soda" or "coke" in most other states.
___ Hot Dish is neither a beautiful woman nor an overheated plate.
It's time to wear a hat when:
A) The temperature is below 10 degrees.
B) Your mother tells you to!
C) The temperature is -10 and the wind chill is in double digits.
What "UFF-DA" means to me: _____________________.
You know you're from Minnesota when...
Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.
"Vacation" means going to Brainerd for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes to social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as venison, walleye and Old Milwaukee.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel p.j.'s.
You know all four seasons; almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item, even when you're in a rush, because you have to stop to talk to everyone in the store so you appear to be "Minnesota Nice".
You actually understand these jokes...
P.S. This is a photo from last winter because I have been too lazy to suit up and take pictures yet. plus with Christmas, my excuse is life was just too busy. Now I need to find a different excuse...
And my fantastic co-worker is also 36 (I think) weeks pregnant and so she will also be having her baby soon... YAHOO!!! I need my baby fix from other sources since I can't have any more babies on my own.
Aren't they so precious?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
According to this letter to Santa, she doesn't want any gifts on Christmas Day. She would only like "love and joy". Seriously!?!?! Doesn't that just melt all of your adult bitterness away and make you feel all warm and fuzzy happy? That is soooooooo sweet.
Maybe I am not the worst mother on the face of the planet afterall...
Truer words have rarely been spoken. I wonder why no one clued in our former President that he was "no longer the master of policy" (I don't know that he ever was!)...