You know how sometimes you just have one of THOSE parenting days. One of those days when you just aren’t proud of your reactions to the wee ones shenanigans or the stunts they pull, because after all, as their primary care giver, you know dang well you taught them so much better than that!!!
So, it was one of THOSE days. I am unable to share the gory details but I will share the two humorous highlights of the day.
My minivan was totaled a few weeks ago. A family friend graciously offered to borrow me their tiny, two door sedan while we were waiting to purchase a newer vehicle, which leaves Big E, Little Princess and Little Man all squashed together, shoulder to shoulder, in the back seat. The wailing and shrieks from the backseat that ensue every time we go anywhere is grating on my ever over-wrought nerves.
Fast forward to THAT day. All the children have just got off the bus after school. I immediately pile them into the sardine can (that we are very grateful to be borrowing!). We are trying to get to my mom’s apartment so I can help her after her open heart surgery. Children are starving. I swing through Mickey D’s drive-thru for ice cream cones. All I hear are happy, slurping noises for approximately 4.79 seconds, then more shrieking.
Stop touching me!
You’re dripping ice cream on me!
Wipe your face!
You got ice cream on me again!
Stop it! Stop it!
I look up in the rear view mirror just in time to see Little Man slap his ice cream cone onto Little Princess’ forehead and shout, “There! Now you have my ice cream on you!”
Later that evening, I send Princess and Little Man upstairs to brush their teeth. Although I realize it’s not intelligent to send a four and five year old upstairs without parental supervision, I figured they could briefly contain themselves for a few minutes while I finished in the kitchen.
Suddenly I heard an odd, kind of hissy sound and a chemically smell burned the inside of my nostrils. Princess started yelling at that moment as I ran for the stairs.
“What is going on up here? What is that smell?!?!”
“AHHHH! Little Man! Stop spraying that! Stop! Right now! THIS INSTANT!!!” Little Princess launches herself into my arms as I reach the top of the stairs.
“But I pooped and it’s stinky.”
“Hello?! That’s not air freshener! It’s Lysol cleansing foam. Wait! Why’s Princess’ hair all wet?”
“I was helping her get clean,” Little Man announces proudly.
“Oh crap! All those chemicals on her skin and why is the floor wet too? The. Floor. Is. Soaking. Did you spray this every where?!?!?”
“Yep!” Little Man is sporting a massive smile…
Just one of THOSE kinds of parenting days.