Uber

Yes, I positively loathe Valentine's Day. I am a complete softie and romantic die-hard to the core -- who is married to a well-meaning, but very un-romantic man. So, in celebration of the holiday of love, nothing quite says romance to me like this uber-romantic clip from, yes, "Titanic".



C'mon... you KNOW you're going to watch it. We ALL love the "I'm the King of the World!" scene and this little kiss. Makes my toes curl, it's so sweet.

Lies About Parenting That Everyone Tells You

Sometimes I think anyone who decides to willingly have kids are naive fools. I mean, most people mean well, because the plus side is an amazing human (and in our case, four!) who are pretty darned cool. But seriously, let’s talk about all the crap and lies that no one ever mentions.

• That parenting gets easier. Really?! When is the easier part coming? My oldest is 8 and I don't see an "easy exit" on this freaking highway.
• Babies who are breastfed have unoffensive-smelling poop. I’m sorry, people, but poop is poop! And it all smells.
• Breastfeeding is easy. You are not serious. Although I really enjoyed the bonding experience of nursing, nothing about it was easy or natural. HA-RD! It was difficult to learn.
• Every day is better than the next. In some ways, yes. But childhood is not a progressive thing - it’s this dance that is kind of inefficient at times - you take two steps forward, three steps back, ten steps forward, two steps back. This is most evident in getting babies to sleep through the night. If they ever! Or a toddler to "use their ears" when in the middle of a tantrum.
• Two words:Developmental Milestones.
• Toddlers will stop throwing a tantrum if you ignore their behavior. This is one of the BIGGEST lies out there. Toddlers have the capacity to scream, uninterrupted for HOURS, and I do mean, HOURS!

How about you? What’s not in those blasted books that you never got around to finishing before you had the baby?

Random Things I Wonder About

Does anyone know why they make “child-proof” locks for closets and doors that only take two seconds for kids to figure out before they begin mainlining Tums and bandaiding each other and making really awesome sculptures out of tampons? All of which were on a shelf 6 feet high... which means that someone had to use someone else as a ladder to overcome the first three feet? Hmm...

Does anyone know why reasonably intelligent women like myself never get a clue and just teach the 3 1/2 YEAR OLD TO EITHER COOK COMPLETE DINNERS OR DO THE LAUNDRY? I should just send her to Montessori preschool, like her older sister attended. She won’t be able to read until she is at least 8 but by golly, she’ll be able to cut a block of cheese for her friends and know the names of every tree in my backyard. Of course I would have to get her out of the bathroom closet first. See above.

Does anyone know how everyone in the house manages to be bugged about the condition of the house yet people continue to climb over the Mt. Everest of laundry piling up in the kitchen? (Yes, my washer and dryer are in my kitchen. I do not have a basement and that is VERY unfortunate.) Enough said.

Does anyone know exactly how much longer we will be tortured by Cabinet appointments? I say we just give everyone a pass for everything less than 1st degree murder (unless it was justifiable homicide, of course) and put ourselves out of our misery.

Just random thoughts...

Smiling Proudly

You just finished folding laundry and turn your back for a minute to find your toddler smiling proudly, surrounded by a pile of now unfolded clothes. Your reaction? Shriek? My thoughts exactly.

Okay, I understand that I need to breathe deeply and count to ten, but honestly, I just want to shriek!

Being a parent is the most important job I will ever have, but it’s also the hardest! Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive... (With a family of SIX, do you know how many loads of laundry I need to do each week?!)

Do Not Do This At Home

So... Jessica Simpson has been very busy of late: (a) she's been romancing Tony Romo, which has probably been fun, (b) she performed at a chili cook-off a few weeks ago (...I know. I feel kind of depressed now, too), and (c) she very kindly TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM and illustrated for us that high-waisted jeans are really not flattering on everyone. Especially not these:

The way I see it, these jeans might look great on you if you have not a single curve on your body, are almost six feet tall and weigh less than 95 pounds dripping wet. On the rest of the free world, these awful things just emphasize Inner-Thighs-Through-Belly-Including-Hips-Flubber, which is not something I look for in my hottest pair of jeans. How about you? I mean, if you just mentally move the waist band of these jeans down about two inches, girlfriend looks 100% better. Right? Am I right?

Guilty Pleasures

This is the Guilty Pleasure Meme. Go to Flickr, search your answer to each guilty pleasure, choose one of the pictures on the first page of the search results, copy and paste the link to that picture into Big Huge Lab's Mosaic Maker (4x3), and create the mosaic. Post your mosaic and your answers for others to see.

Here are my answers:

1. Fave Snack Food - Chips (any kind of chips, but my sinfully fave are sour cream & onion potato chips)

2. Fave Cheap Restaurant - Taco House in St. Paul YUM!

3. Fave Expensive Restaurant - Benihana's, for lack of a more original thought right now.

4. Fave Alcoholic Beverage - Malibu rum and Diet Pepsi

5. Fave Non-alcoholic Beverage - Diet Pepsi

6. Fave Sad Song - Not sure...

7. Fave Convenience Store Item - Peanut Butter M&M's

8. Fave Magazine - Creating Keepsakes (scrapbooking mag)

9. Fave TV Show - House Hunters on HGTv

10. Fave Past Time (pre-kids) - Sleep

11. Fave 80s Movie - Sixteen Candles

12. Fave Way to completely waste time - Hmmm... FaceBook? Blogging? Might be a tie.

No White Lies Here

Today has been an awful day. As a matter of a fact, it has been a horrendous weekend. Thank God tomorrow is Monday and we get to go back to work. I am doing jumping jacks due to my high level of giddiness about NOT being with my husband or children.

I am the *worst* mother in the world for being so excited about not being here... but at least I am HONEST. Do I get any extra points for being honest?!