Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Do Not Do This At Home

So... Jessica Simpson has been very busy of late: (a) she's been romancing Tony Romo, which has probably been fun, (b) she performed at a chili cook-off a few weeks ago (...I know. I feel kind of depressed now, too), and (c) she very kindly TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM and illustrated for us that high-waisted jeans are really not flattering on everyone. Especially not these:

The way I see it, these jeans might look great on you if you have not a single curve on your body, are almost six feet tall and weigh less than 95 pounds dripping wet. On the rest of the free world, these awful things just emphasize Inner-Thighs-Through-Belly-Including-Hips-Flubber, which is not something I look for in my hottest pair of jeans. How about you? I mean, if you just mentally move the waist band of these jeans down about two inches, girlfriend looks 100% better. Right? Am I right?

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