Friday, February 13, 2009

Lies About Parenting That Everyone Tells You

Sometimes I think anyone who decides to willingly have kids are naive fools. I mean, most people mean well, because the plus side is an amazing human (and in our case, four!) who are pretty darned cool. But seriously, let’s talk about all the crap and lies that no one ever mentions.

  • That parenting gets easier. Really?! When is the easier part coming? My oldest is 8 and I don't see an "easy exit" on this freaking highway.
  • Babies who are breastfed have unoffensive-smelling poop. I’m sorry, people, but poop is poop! And it all smells.
  • Breastfeeding is easy. You are not serious. Although I really enjoyed the bonding experience of nursing, nothing about it was easy or natural. HA-RD! It was difficult to learn.
  • Every day is better than the next. In some ways, yes. But childhood is not a progressive thing - it’s this dance that is kind of inefficient at times - you take two steps forward, three steps back, ten steps forward, two steps back. This is most evident in getting babies to sleep through the night. If they ever! Or a toddler to "use their ears" when in the middle of a tantrum.
  • Two words:Developmental Milestones.
  • Toddlers will stop throwing a tantrum if you ignore their behavior. This is one of the BIGGEST lies out there. Toddlers have the capacity to scream, uninterrupted for HOURS, and I do mean, HOURS!
How about you? What’s not in those blasted books that you never got around to finishing before you had the baby?

No comments: