Monday, January 4, 2010


Wow! Some days are great.

Yesterday morning I woke up with hives. At first I thought it was just my sensitive skin acting up again, but after several hours of itching like crazy -- basically until my skin bled -- I decided it was more than just sensitive skin.

If you have never had the pleasure of having hives, let me describe it for you. It's like being covered with mosquito bites... everywhere.

A thousand of them.

On your scalp, your eyes, inside your ears, your shoulders, your elbows, your forearms, your hands, your stomach, your crotch, your thighs, your knees, your shins, your ankles and, my personal favorite, the soles of your feet.

I was scratching so much that my husband said I looked like a dog... with fleas... and bedbugs.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?! People! Have some sympathy!

The Hubster brought me some Benadryl, but I was feeling miserable and too far gone to be very gracious. So well all other pretty families were enjoying their Sunday morning brunch, I was all like, "Yo Dude! Isn't there something else up in here a bit stronger than Benadryl?"

There was. It was called Diet Pepsi and RUM! Given the fact that Hubster was sick of my psychotic Sybil-imitation, he was happy to oblige. Despite the fact that it was only noon on Sunday and a proper combo of Benadryl and alcohol was likely to put me into a slurring, sleeping heap of non-helpful parenthood.

I guess he thought that was preferable to my Tourette's like screaming of obscenities as I scratched my skin into bloody ribbons and perhaps because my children were beginning to think I was crazy as I kept taking off my socks to scratch the bottom of my feet.

Also, I may have slightly resembled a leper.

I was so agitated that I want to tear my own skin open. I actually told my poor Hubster that I was to the point that I would rather take off all my clothes and wriggle around on a bed of nails, or rub up on the scratchy side of a Velcro rug, than stand there and talk to him.

So five minutes later, it was with a smile that That Man brought me a rather strong glass of Diet Pepsi and Rum. I'm sure that I no longer looked like a dog.

Because this chick? Was sweating like a pig from all of the wiggling and scratching.

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