Friday, July 3, 2009


Some days I really feel like I have failed my son, our fourth child.

He was born just 14-months after his very, very spirited, high-maintenance sister, G. G was needy of my attention from the get-go. I mean, this is just a little thing, but a perfect example of how dramatic little girls can be from a wee young age. When my D-boy was just a few months old my 14-month old petite little thing stubbornly exclaimed “I do it myself!” so, as my newborn son tried desperately to get both attention and basic needs from his mother, I was hoisting G's little heiney up onto the toilet 47 times a day, or watching her try on her eighteenth outfit for the day and exclaiming it, too, did not match.

Ms. G (or Princess Booger, as we call her when she's on a roll) was never content to play on her own; and D always was. Princess Booger needed constant feedback; and my big man never did. Princess Booger wanted, nay needed, to do x,y, and z; and my guy was just content to go with her flow. An easy baby. A baby I thanked my lucky stars for. He napped (G never did); he liked the car seat (G never did); he liked the stroller (G never did). EASY. Requiring very little effort.

Now, as I look at the awesomely head-strong toddler he is becoming, I wonder if I did him a disservice by just assuming he was going with the flow and enjoying it...

I am so very glad that I have four lovely, healthy, intelligent children, but I wonder -- is there enough of me to be able to give them everything they need emotionally? Am I short changing them?!

Please, God, give me the knowledge and wisdom to meet my children's needs emotionally and spiritually.

1 comment:

Eric G said...

The only time you fail is when you don't try. Daniel knows you love him too. He feels it every time you read to him, and tuck him in, and kiss him goodnight. You're too hard on yourself.