Sunday, December 5, 2010


Dear Jennifer Aniston:

I need to be your best friend. 

I know, I don't even have half of a quarter of your $80 million net wealth and our finicky friendship would mostly rely on either A) you sitting at my house that is probably the size of a small bathroom in one of your many California mansions or B) me freeloading off you for fun, organic lunches in which we pretend to eat but do not actually consume calories, or elaborate and sumptuous dinners at the hottest restaurants, or nights out on the town at the swankiest hot-spots, or funky family “va-cays”…

But I swear I have a lot to offer! I can recite to you every.single.line you ever said in all 10 seasons of Friends. I can tell you fun little facts that you don't even remember about Rachel, like she wore Chanel 5, her middle name is Karen, she has 2 sisters and her dad is a doctor.

I can even overlook the fact that you smoke – which is pretty big of me because I would still be your most awesome friend and, usually, I pretty much refuse to even shake hands with people who are smokers, for fear that by merely touching them, I will contract cancer cells that will fly straight to my lungs & kill me on the spot. 

Go ahead and invite Courtney over too! But I will warn you that whatever friendship you have with her will be long gone once you realize just how wonderful I am! We are destined to be friends.  It’s so very true.  The voices in my head even confirmed these thoughts.

Oh, please Jennifer Aniston!  Please, please, prettttttyyyy pleeeaaase Jennifer Anniston! I swear if we are best friends I will not call you by your first and last name as so many psychotic fantabulous fans do. I will act completely normal, I PROMISE! Well, okay, as normal I can act.

Just think about it! Okay?!

Your crazy, insane, should be institutionalized BFF,

And no, I don't have this picture framed, on my bedside table…

1 comment:

Yaya' s Home said...

I think your post is the perfect way to get her attention an' she's sure to be your BFF once she reads it.

I just found a link last night that you might like. This young man offers a free ten-day course on how to grow your blog. He must know what he's talking about because he has more than 1900 subscribers.".

On a different note, have you met "Lenny? I'd appreciate it if you could check out his blog and become a Follower. I've shared some of his talents here.

I truly hope this will help both you and Lenny. Thanks for looking at his blog. I think you will really like it. He's a great kid.

~ Yaya